A few months ago, I was sitting at the local airport in Ikeja when this was announced over their public system. “Would Driver company name please report to the front desk”. Driver “company name” apparently had no surname; he now bore the name of the company he worked for. I found it all very amusing that even the woman announcing this, had actually agreed to address another human being like that. However, I was the only one laughing. Everybody else seemed to think that it was very normal for a driver‘s surname to be the name of a company. I asked the gentleman sitting next to me, if he did not find it amusing that a man’s name was “driver” and his surname a company name. I mean, think about all the drivers that now bear “Julius Berger ” as their surname or “MTN”...the worst surname would have to be “NEPA”! Anyway,(before I digress into a rant about the hopeless state of electricity in this country) as I tried to explain why I found the whole thing amusing, the lady sitting next to me jumped right in the conversation and asked “why should I know his surname?”. In fact, she was very upset that I would even dare to suggest such a thing! Preposterous! She said her driver had been driving her for more than two years now and she had no idea what his surname is. She defended her reason by adding that the driver did not know hers either…..which I very much doubt. If there is anything drivers are very familiar with, it is the names of their passengers. Imagine how many times you have sent them to deliver useless messages to friends and relatives. Imagine how many times you have sent them to the market, the pharmacy, tailor and other little errands that have nothing to do with his main job, which is actually driving. So, please believe that your driver knows your name very well and has probably cursed you a couple of times too! For a man in whose hands you put your life every day, it is preposterous that you do not know his name, family name and where he lives.
Anyway, the conversation with these two people got me thinking about how many people I see every day, talk to them every day, yet I do not know their names. The first person I would have to apologize for never asking her name would have to be “acara woman”. For years as a child, I bought acara from this woman. I played with her baby every morning as she fried acara, we had conversations about the weather, my family, her family, my health, her health and I never knew her name. Next would have to be “sweet woman”, which is very depressing to me because this woman knows the names of all my siblings, asks about every single one of them every time she sees me and even a grown woman like me still gets free sweets when I pass by. The third apology would have to be the “shoe boy”. “Shoe boy” is a shoemaker and stops by every Saturday to collect all those worn out soles of mine. I never have conversations with “shoe boy” but his presence in my life is very important. The fourth apology I will just have to give “newspaper boy”, who tells me the gist of all the newspapers, reads my column and sometimes suggest topics I should write about.
Now that I have started this countdown, I realize they are too many people that have been important in my life in such small ways that I never knew their name. A grown woman shouting “swimming pool uncle” across the street to a man who made me believe that I could be an Olympic champion, the best swimmer, I could do anything if I set my mind to it, is very embarrassing indeed. (By the way, God go punish all of una former Bendel state sports people wey go destroy all those better better swimming scholarship program those days, who know? I for be champion self, maybe na me for represent una for Beijing now? Shebi una see una selves?).
Well, what is done in this case, can be undone. I will have to introduce myself properly and they would have to do the same. They are human beings as we all are, no less important in life, yet every day we humiliate them by calling them the names of jobs which funny enough, we could never do without. We call them “house girl”, “driver”, “gardener”, “cook” like these names are their identities. They are not; these are just the jobs they perform (which many have no choice to but to do, by the way). They are fathers, mothers, daughters, cousins, somebody’s best friend, a Christian, a Muslim….. They are much more than we would ever know…… because we never ask.
waffywaffarian@yahoo.com
Friday, June 27, 2008
On the way to.....
In every nook and cranny, there is a church or mosque ready to save our souls and prepare us for our final destination, heaven. We go to these churches/mosques and worship with men and women who we assume are people of God. We donate our hard earned money, pay tithes and only God knows the amount of time and energy the faithful dedicate to their churches, pastors, mosques and imams. It is therefore a shame when these men and women in whom so much is trusted, betray their members. Recently, I read the most disgusting story about a pastor who was arrested. The man was in possession of a couple of human heads which he was preparing for members of his church. According to him, he is not only a pastor but a native doctor as well. Now, my question to my fellow countrymen is thus: For how long are we all going to fool ourselves?
It is no secret that a lot of people consult native doctors, herbalists, spiritualists, etc in this country. In fact, it is the norm of the day. There is always someone who knows someone. Even in the confines of the church, there is always someone coming from somewhere and going somewhere. We all know this; it is no secret in our society. That is why it is very illogical for those who believe in whatever they believe in to continue fooling themselves in churches or mosques. There is no rule stating that we all must be Christians or Muslims, in fact, such a rule can never exist in a country where people are still dying “under mysterious” circumstances. Until we can admit to ourselves that a good number of the population are NOT Christians or Muslims, we will continue to discover human heads and different organs in peoples’ houses…including the houses of pastors. It is only then that we will be able to curb these insane acts. I would also like every single human being in a spiritual position to be investigated. Yes, that’s right. All pastors, priests, imams…in fact, if you are in any sort of position in any religious activity, (Sunday school self dey among) you should be investigated. Let us sort the wheat from the chaff…or however that saying goes.
However, I realize that such a task will be too much for our already worn out government. That is why I appeal to all good citizens of this country to embark on a thorough investigation of their spiritual leaders. It is your right to know who your leader is and where he/she is leading you to.
Make e no be say dem dey carry una go hell and una no know oh!
P.S: Just to remind una say Olympics dey around the corner because I know small time na, una go begin complain say no money to transport our people, this, that, one thing do one thing. Me, I no wan hear any long tory oh. I don buy my green white green flag, make shirt self, so make una make sure all our better sports men and women dey ready oh! I don remind una, because this sports ministry una fit disgrace human being sometimes.
waffywaffarian@yahoo.com
It is no secret that a lot of people consult native doctors, herbalists, spiritualists, etc in this country. In fact, it is the norm of the day. There is always someone who knows someone. Even in the confines of the church, there is always someone coming from somewhere and going somewhere. We all know this; it is no secret in our society. That is why it is very illogical for those who believe in whatever they believe in to continue fooling themselves in churches or mosques. There is no rule stating that we all must be Christians or Muslims, in fact, such a rule can never exist in a country where people are still dying “under mysterious” circumstances. Until we can admit to ourselves that a good number of the population are NOT Christians or Muslims, we will continue to discover human heads and different organs in peoples’ houses…including the houses of pastors. It is only then that we will be able to curb these insane acts. I would also like every single human being in a spiritual position to be investigated. Yes, that’s right. All pastors, priests, imams…in fact, if you are in any sort of position in any religious activity, (Sunday school self dey among) you should be investigated. Let us sort the wheat from the chaff…or however that saying goes.
However, I realize that such a task will be too much for our already worn out government. That is why I appeal to all good citizens of this country to embark on a thorough investigation of their spiritual leaders. It is your right to know who your leader is and where he/she is leading you to.
Make e no be say dem dey carry una go hell and una no know oh!
P.S: Just to remind una say Olympics dey around the corner because I know small time na, una go begin complain say no money to transport our people, this, that, one thing do one thing. Me, I no wan hear any long tory oh. I don buy my green white green flag, make shirt self, so make una make sure all our better sports men and women dey ready oh! I don remind una, because this sports ministry una fit disgrace human being sometimes.
waffywaffarian@yahoo.com
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Growing old with grace
My people, how una dey? As far as una still dey alive, we thank God. I have been feeling so uninspired lately. Everytime I read something about Africa, it is always so depressing. These days, I avoid anything that has to do with Zimbabwe. Is it me, or has that old man gone nuts? I find it amusing that such an old man can have a hold over a whole country… he must be very strong…I wonder what he is eating because the eba I eat in this country definitely does not give me that kind of strength. One would think that an old man like that should be on a farm somewhere, sleeping under a shade with goats nearby… or chickens. Imagine how nice it would be for him, to enjoy his final years with his family. He could even take up fishing or perhaps a more sophisticated sport like golf? He could play golf all day…or maybe he would rather travel? Yes, that would be so nice, he could see all the wonders of the world, wine and dine and maybe even go on a spiritual journey? But no, mba. Instead, he is there busy complicating life for himself and others. Why can’t we as human beings just make life easier for ourselves? Look at the mess he has got himself and his country in, now. Very depressing because there are so many things he could have been doing instead of causing mayhem and distress. How sad!
It is not every day you see power make a fool of a human being. Most times, power makes them strong, mighty, wealthy or even dangerous…so this is a rare occasion indeed, we have the combination of all that with the inclusion of the person being made a fool as well. It is really depressing and leaves a very bitter taste in my mouth. However, let this be a warning to all power hungry people. Sooner or later, your greed will not only destroy you but those around you as well. So whilst you are bribing and threatening and God knows what else you people do behind the scenes, please remember that there is nothing more pathetic than a human being that has lost all sense of pride and dignity.
I therefore appeal to all men and women in seats of power in this country to be wise enough so as to be able to determine when their time has come for retirement. If you have any doubts as to when your time is near, I would say start looking for a retirement home once you reach the age of fifty. In fact, considering the life expectancy age in this country, (46 years for men and 47 for women, and no be me talk am oh, na UN, so make una go fight them if una no gree) I would suggest that one should start planning as soon as possible.
Ehen, I don tell una. Because me I no wan hear say una begin kolo because of old age oh! Una do well.
waffywaffarian@yahoo.com
It is not every day you see power make a fool of a human being. Most times, power makes them strong, mighty, wealthy or even dangerous…so this is a rare occasion indeed, we have the combination of all that with the inclusion of the person being made a fool as well. It is really depressing and leaves a very bitter taste in my mouth. However, let this be a warning to all power hungry people. Sooner or later, your greed will not only destroy you but those around you as well. So whilst you are bribing and threatening and God knows what else you people do behind the scenes, please remember that there is nothing more pathetic than a human being that has lost all sense of pride and dignity.
I therefore appeal to all men and women in seats of power in this country to be wise enough so as to be able to determine when their time has come for retirement. If you have any doubts as to when your time is near, I would say start looking for a retirement home once you reach the age of fifty. In fact, considering the life expectancy age in this country, (46 years for men and 47 for women, and no be me talk am oh, na UN, so make una go fight them if una no gree) I would suggest that one should start planning as soon as possible.
Ehen, I don tell una. Because me I no wan hear say una begin kolo because of old age oh! Una do well.
waffywaffarian@yahoo.com
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Please, let our culture be!
Let the music play!
There was a time in Nigeria when I thought “life can’t be better than this”…..I call it the “Clarus and Giringory years”, the years when N.T. A was the only station on T.V. I remember watching so many interviews with Nigerian artists. Not only did we get to see our favorite artists talk about themselves and their music, but sometimes, they gave live concerts too!
There is so much in the music of those years that ties me to people, places…those were great times for me and a huge part of my childhood. I have never been worried about losing any of that because I have always believed that the music will always be there, it will live forever in the archives of N.T.A. How wrong I was!
Recently, I asked a couple of my friends where one could get film footages of our great musicians, possibly interviews and appearances on television. To my surprise and disgust, I was told that N.T.A had “wiped” most of the tapes….whatever that means. In lay man’s terms, we simply do not have recordings of our own artists that have been part of so much in this country. If you want to find film footages of our best musicians, please turn to BBC, even the French would have more to offer you than N.T. A. This is perhaps not surprising in this country, who cares right? Why should we care about our own heritage and culture? Why should we preserve history for our children? After all, we’ll all be long gone to accept any accountability. It is a shame and to say the truth, pure laziness. If we continue at the pace we are going, so much beauty will be lost to our children.
What kind of nation do we want to be? Nigeria is failing new generations of its children by continuing to destroy all traces of cultural productions in the country. However, let me not scare you all, I am sure we will always have “Nollywood”, those low budget movies that continue to subject Nigerians with archaic views on religion and marriage. Nollywood story for Marriage: Man and woman fall in love, get married and enjoy peace until the beautiful and young seductress (probably a friend of the wife) lures the good husband from his home. Husband sends wife packing, while younger woman enters house. Now, the only choice wife has, is to turn to the church for serious fasting and prayers. Somehow, husband comes to his senses (probably because the juju has now been cast into the deepest hole or whatever) and comes back crying to wife. Wife accepts husband back, and returns to her rightful place as madam of the comfortable home she was living in. We thank God.
Now that is what our children are watching. That is the kind of “culture” we are giving them and have no fear of it ever being “wiped” out because we have enough pirated copies to last us a life time.
I hope there are enough people in this country that understand the need for documenting our cultural heritage. It is a challenge to us, and one that we must rise up to.
We will never forget those that have left so much beauty behind them.
Rest in peace,
Sonny Okosuns
Steve Rhodes
Your music lives on.
waffywaffarian@yahoo.com
There was a time in Nigeria when I thought “life can’t be better than this”…..I call it the “Clarus and Giringory years”, the years when N.T. A was the only station on T.V. I remember watching so many interviews with Nigerian artists. Not only did we get to see our favorite artists talk about themselves and their music, but sometimes, they gave live concerts too!
There is so much in the music of those years that ties me to people, places…those were great times for me and a huge part of my childhood. I have never been worried about losing any of that because I have always believed that the music will always be there, it will live forever in the archives of N.T.A. How wrong I was!
Recently, I asked a couple of my friends where one could get film footages of our great musicians, possibly interviews and appearances on television. To my surprise and disgust, I was told that N.T.A had “wiped” most of the tapes….whatever that means. In lay man’s terms, we simply do not have recordings of our own artists that have been part of so much in this country. If you want to find film footages of our best musicians, please turn to BBC, even the French would have more to offer you than N.T. A. This is perhaps not surprising in this country, who cares right? Why should we care about our own heritage and culture? Why should we preserve history for our children? After all, we’ll all be long gone to accept any accountability. It is a shame and to say the truth, pure laziness. If we continue at the pace we are going, so much beauty will be lost to our children.
What kind of nation do we want to be? Nigeria is failing new generations of its children by continuing to destroy all traces of cultural productions in the country. However, let me not scare you all, I am sure we will always have “Nollywood”, those low budget movies that continue to subject Nigerians with archaic views on religion and marriage. Nollywood story for Marriage: Man and woman fall in love, get married and enjoy peace until the beautiful and young seductress (probably a friend of the wife) lures the good husband from his home. Husband sends wife packing, while younger woman enters house. Now, the only choice wife has, is to turn to the church for serious fasting and prayers. Somehow, husband comes to his senses (probably because the juju has now been cast into the deepest hole or whatever) and comes back crying to wife. Wife accepts husband back, and returns to her rightful place as madam of the comfortable home she was living in. We thank God.
Now that is what our children are watching. That is the kind of “culture” we are giving them and have no fear of it ever being “wiped” out because we have enough pirated copies to last us a life time.
I hope there are enough people in this country that understand the need for documenting our cultural heritage. It is a challenge to us, and one that we must rise up to.
We will never forget those that have left so much beauty behind them.
Rest in peace,
Sonny Okosuns
Steve Rhodes
Your music lives on.
waffywaffarian@yahoo.com
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Making sense of no sense
This week so many things have happened in our world, South-Africans who for years, I believed to be the most tolerant people on earth…have lost it. The Chinese are still trying to find survivors in the devastating earth quake and Yar’Adua gave an interview in the financial times London (chei! the thing pain me oh, me wey get plenty questions boku to ask, na those oyibo people na im you go grant interview? Haba!) which I read and laughed hard of course. Any other reaction from the cynic in me would have been false but first, let me talk about the South-Africans.
If there is any child that grew up following world events without the miracle of having cable TV, I guess I was one of them. For all their faults, Delta TV could at least arouse your curiosity for world events by flinging in one or two details in their often dry international news. The story of Nelson Mandela I followed closely after watching a documentary on television. After that, came a fascination with the man and his people. I listened to anything about South Africa, sang along with Majek Fashek’s “Free Mandela”, cried watching the film “Cry freedom” and danced like a possessed child to the musical “Sarafina”. I did all that with the firm belief that a country that produced a man as great as Nelson Mandela must be the most tolerant in the whole world.
The events of the past weeks have proved that there is no country that is safe from the wrath of the poor man. The poor people are angry, angry at their government and perhaps the world at large, for abandoning them in a continuous and hopeless state of poverty and misery. A country where the spread of A.I.D.S continue to devastate the population, a country that is synonymous with crime….yet, we are all surprised. We see the images of burning houses and violence and cringe...”not the home of Mandela!”…we are horrified. Oh, lest I forget, was it not the same look of surprise we had on our faces when the Kenyan situation came up? And not too many years ago, we had the same look on our faces about Zimbabwe, right? Right!
Let us not fool ourselves anymore in this world, poverty is real and it will drive people to commit the most inhumane acts. These acts, as bizarre as they might seem, did not happen overnight just as the refugees from Zimbabwe did not appear over night in the slums. Yes, let us all point our fingers to the source of the beginning of the problem…the problem of Zimbabwe…is anybody taking notes? Can anybody help the people of Zimbabwe? First driven from their homeland, they are now being burned and persecuted, yet; this is not a problem of the government of South Africa. It is the problem of Africa and what are we doing? Nothing, as usual.
That is why the interview given by our dear president was amusing. According to our dear president, he has been “planning”. Is it that we do not understand that time is running out? Even with the kidnappings of people in the Niger Delta, the violence and killings and now….a food crisis! A bag of rice has tripled this week…and we still have time? We are still folding our hands and waiting for what to happen? We think the frustrations of the South Africans are different? Why then, are people being kidnapped in this country? What have the innocent done to their captives? So many questions and unfortunately not enough time to answer them all. One thing is for sure though; we are running out of time. Let something be done or else, the wrath of the poor man will continue and who knows who the victims will be next time? Today, it’s the foreigner, tomorrow it might be you or me.
P.S: I bow for all these our governors sha, so if na to spend money for burial, dat one una sabi, but to fix road, na another thing. Na wah oh!
waffywaffarian@yahoo.com
If there is any child that grew up following world events without the miracle of having cable TV, I guess I was one of them. For all their faults, Delta TV could at least arouse your curiosity for world events by flinging in one or two details in their often dry international news. The story of Nelson Mandela I followed closely after watching a documentary on television. After that, came a fascination with the man and his people. I listened to anything about South Africa, sang along with Majek Fashek’s “Free Mandela”, cried watching the film “Cry freedom” and danced like a possessed child to the musical “Sarafina”. I did all that with the firm belief that a country that produced a man as great as Nelson Mandela must be the most tolerant in the whole world.
The events of the past weeks have proved that there is no country that is safe from the wrath of the poor man. The poor people are angry, angry at their government and perhaps the world at large, for abandoning them in a continuous and hopeless state of poverty and misery. A country where the spread of A.I.D.S continue to devastate the population, a country that is synonymous with crime….yet, we are all surprised. We see the images of burning houses and violence and cringe...”not the home of Mandela!”…we are horrified. Oh, lest I forget, was it not the same look of surprise we had on our faces when the Kenyan situation came up? And not too many years ago, we had the same look on our faces about Zimbabwe, right? Right!
Let us not fool ourselves anymore in this world, poverty is real and it will drive people to commit the most inhumane acts. These acts, as bizarre as they might seem, did not happen overnight just as the refugees from Zimbabwe did not appear over night in the slums. Yes, let us all point our fingers to the source of the beginning of the problem…the problem of Zimbabwe…is anybody taking notes? Can anybody help the people of Zimbabwe? First driven from their homeland, they are now being burned and persecuted, yet; this is not a problem of the government of South Africa. It is the problem of Africa and what are we doing? Nothing, as usual.
That is why the interview given by our dear president was amusing. According to our dear president, he has been “planning”. Is it that we do not understand that time is running out? Even with the kidnappings of people in the Niger Delta, the violence and killings and now….a food crisis! A bag of rice has tripled this week…and we still have time? We are still folding our hands and waiting for what to happen? We think the frustrations of the South Africans are different? Why then, are people being kidnapped in this country? What have the innocent done to their captives? So many questions and unfortunately not enough time to answer them all. One thing is for sure though; we are running out of time. Let something be done or else, the wrath of the poor man will continue and who knows who the victims will be next time? Today, it’s the foreigner, tomorrow it might be you or me.
P.S: I bow for all these our governors sha, so if na to spend money for burial, dat one una sabi, but to fix road, na another thing. Na wah oh!
waffywaffarian@yahoo.com
Sunday, May 18, 2008
A day at the bank
As a child, I had the opportunity of going to the bank with my father or mother on various occasions to either deposit a check, or cash one or do whatever they used to do those days. Those were the days before ATM machines appeared in Nigeria. The days when everybody knew your name and everybody chit chatted while standing on the queue. Everybody in the bank was “aunty” or “uncle”, they all appeared to be older and most of them always wore glasses. That is what I can remember.
As an adult, I am not so fond of official buildings. In fact, I try to avoid doing anything that cannot be done over the internet. I avoid anything that has to do with papers, signatures and false smiles….all that hand shaking and nodding of heads…nope, banks are nothing more than a pesky necessity in my life. Anyway, so I was at a certain Bank on a hot afternoon in Lagos a couple of weeks ago. My reason for being in that bank was purely out of curiosity and not necessity. I wanted to see how much the Nigerian bank had evolved…okay, I’ll admit it, I wanted to really understand what that door was all about….you know, the two glasslike oval shaped thingy you step in before you go into the bank? Yes, I wanted to know what its function was. I am sorry, I did not find out anything substantial. I am told it is for security purposes …so let us leave it like that.
Anyway, so the first thing you notice in any bank would be the beautiful young boys and girls working there. I am telling you, I have never seen anything like this; they are all dressed up in all sorts of suits…so I am guessing having a suit is compulsory for working in a Nigerian Bank. Trouser suit, skirt suit, three quarters suit, etc. Please forgive me if I do not get the right names for the “suit fashion”. Anyway, so I am in the bank and there is a certain sound that keeps reoccurring in my ear….I almost went mad trying to figure out why that sound kept hitting my delicate ears from all angles….well….I don’t know how you all do it, but the sound of high heels and “cork shoes” on the floors was really quite disturbing. Everywhere you turned, there was that sound. Sometimes it came from men as well. I swear. You know mens’ shoes now have heels on them? I am not joking, the next time you see a male banker, check out his shoes, there is a certain kind of flat heel they all wear. So, I am standing at a corner, patiently waiting for my friend who has to conduct business with these suit clad beautiful human beings. There is a line of people waiting patiently to do their business and of course the other set of “who know who” people who are not getting on the line. Some stroll with great confidence to their “contacts” who beam at them under an array of “yes sir”, “how are you madam” “good to see you again”, etc . Then, the second thing I notice are the different people who seem to just be strolling back and forth the floors with no particular destination. I saw a young lady go back and forth five times without doing anything in particular.
Finally, the third and final observation would have to be the presence of the security men. I am not sure what kind of training these men have gone through, but I had no clue about what they were supposed to be doing. Some just hung about throwing jokes to one another, while one or two stood by the door explaining the “oh so delicate” machinery of the oval shaped doors. I have to admit that their uniforms were quite impressive, not the usual scruffy look we have come to associate Nigerian security men with…so that’s a “plus” I guess.
All in all, the biggest improvement would be the designer suits worn by the beautiful young people. They were all so radiant!
P.S: abeg, una fit try hook me up with una tailor? Thanks in advance.
waffywaffarian@yahoo.com
As an adult, I am not so fond of official buildings. In fact, I try to avoid doing anything that cannot be done over the internet. I avoid anything that has to do with papers, signatures and false smiles….all that hand shaking and nodding of heads…nope, banks are nothing more than a pesky necessity in my life. Anyway, so I was at a certain Bank on a hot afternoon in Lagos a couple of weeks ago. My reason for being in that bank was purely out of curiosity and not necessity. I wanted to see how much the Nigerian bank had evolved…okay, I’ll admit it, I wanted to really understand what that door was all about….you know, the two glasslike oval shaped thingy you step in before you go into the bank? Yes, I wanted to know what its function was. I am sorry, I did not find out anything substantial. I am told it is for security purposes …so let us leave it like that.
Anyway, so the first thing you notice in any bank would be the beautiful young boys and girls working there. I am telling you, I have never seen anything like this; they are all dressed up in all sorts of suits…so I am guessing having a suit is compulsory for working in a Nigerian Bank. Trouser suit, skirt suit, three quarters suit, etc. Please forgive me if I do not get the right names for the “suit fashion”. Anyway, so I am in the bank and there is a certain sound that keeps reoccurring in my ear….I almost went mad trying to figure out why that sound kept hitting my delicate ears from all angles….well….I don’t know how you all do it, but the sound of high heels and “cork shoes” on the floors was really quite disturbing. Everywhere you turned, there was that sound. Sometimes it came from men as well. I swear. You know mens’ shoes now have heels on them? I am not joking, the next time you see a male banker, check out his shoes, there is a certain kind of flat heel they all wear. So, I am standing at a corner, patiently waiting for my friend who has to conduct business with these suit clad beautiful human beings. There is a line of people waiting patiently to do their business and of course the other set of “who know who” people who are not getting on the line. Some stroll with great confidence to their “contacts” who beam at them under an array of “yes sir”, “how are you madam” “good to see you again”, etc . Then, the second thing I notice are the different people who seem to just be strolling back and forth the floors with no particular destination. I saw a young lady go back and forth five times without doing anything in particular.
Finally, the third and final observation would have to be the presence of the security men. I am not sure what kind of training these men have gone through, but I had no clue about what they were supposed to be doing. Some just hung about throwing jokes to one another, while one or two stood by the door explaining the “oh so delicate” machinery of the oval shaped doors. I have to admit that their uniforms were quite impressive, not the usual scruffy look we have come to associate Nigerian security men with…so that’s a “plus” I guess.
All in all, the biggest improvement would be the designer suits worn by the beautiful young people. They were all so radiant!
P.S: abeg, una fit try hook me up with una tailor? Thanks in advance.
waffywaffarian@yahoo.com
Friday, May 16, 2008
Where do we go from here?
One thing wey we get for this country na mouth! Chei, we sabi promise all sorts, we go promise the whole heaven self, na so our mouth sabi run anyhow like water. One year ago, our dearest minister of transportation seemed to hear the cries of the common man and promised to fix that terrible Lagos-Benin road. Na so, one year don pass, abeg, ask me wetin dem don do? NOTHING. The road still dey as e dey na, e don worse self. Abeg, make una no dey promise us things if una know say una no fit do am, e better to dey trek go Lagos than to enter car. I swear, na trek I go dey trek from now on. Na the same time I go take land self.
Meanwhile, because of the bad roads, the airline business is booming. Sometimes, I wonder if there isn’t a conspiracy in this country to keep the roads in the state they are, so we can all pay the exorbitant prices demanded by the airlines. Recently, I traveled with arik airlines from Lagos to Warri and I was amazed and flabbergasted at the degree of disregard they had for their customers. First of all, they were late. Extremely late. Now, one would expect that they at least provide some information on what is happening, why we are late, when the flight is expected, an apology, you know, the normal. Yet, we waited for more than five hours without any information whatsoever about our delayed flight. For an airline, and for the price being paid by customers, the very least they can do is be professional. That is all I am asking from them. It is not so hard, just make sure your customers are treated with respect at all times.
It is a shame that the Nigerian customer is yet unaware of their right to demand and expect their money’s worth. Why are we always content with barely the minimum? Has it been drummed into our heads as children never to expect anything? I find it very sad that more than fifty people are willing to sit in an airport terminal just waiting as if their own time is not valuable to them. Five hours is a lot of time and to me, a lot of money. If you have ever worked at a job where you are paid hourly, I am sure you would understand how valuable an hour is. Imagine the manpower of more than fifty people being wasted like that! A pity. I remember asking a German friend of mine once why the Germans are so pedant when it comes to quality and he gave me a very simple answer, “Because the German customer will not buy anything less”. It is that simple. Until the Nigerian customer stops this bad habit of “we can manage” and starts focusing instead on quality of service, we will continue to be treated like scum, even though it is our money that keeps the business booming.
Talking about scum, how, in the name of the Lord, do all these airlines get away with canceling flights at will? I would like the Minister of aviation to look into this please. Isn’t there some sort of protocol to be followed? After all, this is not molue we are entering, or is it? Please, let us know. If na molue, ehen, at least I no go expect any service self! Also, can anyone come up with a better idea for the handling of luggage? How does the rest of the world do it? Someone should please try and look into this. At this day and age, I find it ridiculous that luggage should be handled like we are at the market place. To say the truth, I think it is a miracle every time my bag makes it!
Meanwhile, big shame to all of una Lagos spots wey go dey quadruple price of everything! Fa fa fa, fowl! Even water self, na four times the normal price. Wetin person dey pay all that for? To dey mingle with ajebutters? Hiss!
waffywaffarian@yahoo.com
Meanwhile, because of the bad roads, the airline business is booming. Sometimes, I wonder if there isn’t a conspiracy in this country to keep the roads in the state they are, so we can all pay the exorbitant prices demanded by the airlines. Recently, I traveled with arik airlines from Lagos to Warri and I was amazed and flabbergasted at the degree of disregard they had for their customers. First of all, they were late. Extremely late. Now, one would expect that they at least provide some information on what is happening, why we are late, when the flight is expected, an apology, you know, the normal. Yet, we waited for more than five hours without any information whatsoever about our delayed flight. For an airline, and for the price being paid by customers, the very least they can do is be professional. That is all I am asking from them. It is not so hard, just make sure your customers are treated with respect at all times.
It is a shame that the Nigerian customer is yet unaware of their right to demand and expect their money’s worth. Why are we always content with barely the minimum? Has it been drummed into our heads as children never to expect anything? I find it very sad that more than fifty people are willing to sit in an airport terminal just waiting as if their own time is not valuable to them. Five hours is a lot of time and to me, a lot of money. If you have ever worked at a job where you are paid hourly, I am sure you would understand how valuable an hour is. Imagine the manpower of more than fifty people being wasted like that! A pity. I remember asking a German friend of mine once why the Germans are so pedant when it comes to quality and he gave me a very simple answer, “Because the German customer will not buy anything less”. It is that simple. Until the Nigerian customer stops this bad habit of “we can manage” and starts focusing instead on quality of service, we will continue to be treated like scum, even though it is our money that keeps the business booming.
Talking about scum, how, in the name of the Lord, do all these airlines get away with canceling flights at will? I would like the Minister of aviation to look into this please. Isn’t there some sort of protocol to be followed? After all, this is not molue we are entering, or is it? Please, let us know. If na molue, ehen, at least I no go expect any service self! Also, can anyone come up with a better idea for the handling of luggage? How does the rest of the world do it? Someone should please try and look into this. At this day and age, I find it ridiculous that luggage should be handled like we are at the market place. To say the truth, I think it is a miracle every time my bag makes it!
Meanwhile, big shame to all of una Lagos spots wey go dey quadruple price of everything! Fa fa fa, fowl! Even water self, na four times the normal price. Wetin person dey pay all that for? To dey mingle with ajebutters? Hiss!
waffywaffarian@yahoo.com
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