A day at the bank

As a child, I had the opportunity of going to the bank with my father or mother on various occasions to either deposit a check, or cash one or do whatever they used to do those days. Those were the days before ATM machines appeared in Nigeria. The days when everybody knew your name and everybody chit chatted while standing on the queue. Everybody in the bank was “aunty” or “uncle”, they all appeared to be older and most of them always wore glasses. That is what I can remember.

As an adult, I am not so fond of official buildings. In fact, I try to avoid doing anything that cannot be done over the internet. I avoid anything that has to do with papers, signatures and false smiles….all that hand shaking and nodding of heads…nope, banks are nothing more than a pesky necessity in my life. Anyway, so I was at a certain Bank on a hot afternoon in Lagos a couple of weeks ago. My reason for being in that bank was purely out of curiosity and not necessity. I wanted to see how much the Nigerian bank had evolved…okay, I’ll admit it, I wanted to really understand what that door was all about….you know, the two glasslike oval shaped thingy you step in before you go into the bank? Yes, I wanted to know what its function was. I am sorry, I did not find out anything substantial. I am told it is for security purposes …so let us leave it like that.

Anyway, so the first thing you notice in any bank would be the beautiful young boys and girls working there. I am telling you, I have never seen anything like this; they are all dressed up in all sorts of suits…so I am guessing having a suit is compulsory for working in a Nigerian Bank. Trouser suit, skirt suit, three quarters suit, etc. Please forgive me if I do not get the right names for the “suit fashion”. Anyway, so I am in the bank and there is a certain sound that keeps reoccurring in my ear….I almost went mad trying to figure out why that sound kept hitting my delicate ears from all angles….well….I don’t know how you all do it, but the sound of high heels and “cork shoes” on the floors was really quite disturbing. Everywhere you turned, there was that sound. Sometimes it came from men as well. I swear. You know mens’ shoes now have heels on them? I am not joking, the next time you see a male banker, check out his shoes, there is a certain kind of flat heel they all wear. So, I am standing at a corner, patiently waiting for my friend who has to conduct business with these suit clad beautiful human beings. There is a line of people waiting patiently to do their business and of course the other set of “who know who” people who are not getting on the line. Some stroll with great confidence to their “contacts” who beam at them under an array of “yes sir”, “how are you madam” “good to see you again”, etc . Then, the second thing I notice are the different people who seem to just be strolling back and forth the floors with no particular destination. I saw a young lady go back and forth five times without doing anything in particular.

Finally, the third and final observation would have to be the presence of the security men. I am not sure what kind of training these men have gone through, but I had no clue about what they were supposed to be doing. Some just hung about throwing jokes to one another, while one or two stood by the door explaining the “oh so delicate” machinery of the oval shaped doors. I have to admit that their uniforms were quite impressive, not the usual scruffy look we have come to associate Nigerian security men with…so that’s a “plus” I guess.

All in all, the biggest improvement would be the designer suits worn by the beautiful young people. They were all so radiant!

P.S: abeg, una fit try hook me up with una tailor? Thanks in advance.

waffywaffarian@yahoo.com