The unfortunate bill

I see that madam went ahead with her unfortunate bill, even, after all my advice? Well, since she is determined to continue, I might as well give her my list too. Madam, here is my list of all the forms of men clothing I feel are totally inappropriate in our society, in fact, I propose you ban them all, thank you.

French suit: Ah! You all are thinking what my problem is right? Well, I have noticed that most French suits are exceptionally tight around the waist, thus, showing the outline and contours of the mens’ “big belle”. In fact, I am still traumatized by the memory of my secondary school economics teacher.

Kaftan: Have you seen Kaftans blowing in the wind? Not decent at all, this is a sight that is both terrifying and unbecoming for women to experience. They should be banned immediately.

Agbada: Are you all surprised? Well, let me explain, agbada is the number one cause of decadence in this country. Yes, you all heard me right. In fact, sightings of these magnificent garments have been known to cause riots in our universities. The beauty of that thing…the beautiful movement of the hands, reaching to gather the falling cloth ahhhhhh, the thought of all that money beneath the garment, imaginary or real….if there is one wear that should be banned, it has to be the agbada. This cloth alone is responsible for “madam/oga syndrome”, we see the “agbada” and immediately we lose all our senses, our thoughts become focused on the wads of notes waiting for us…to be bribed. If this is not a cause for concern, then I do not know what is. I sincerely hope madam’s husband is not guilty of wearing any of the above mentioned clothes, which would be a shame indeed.

While we are at it, why not ban all forms of traditional wear? To say the truth, I am tired of seeing men strolling around with nothing but wrappers wrapped around their waists, they might as well start wearing what we used to call “lion cloth” those days. Also, I have never understood the whole bowler hat and wrapper thing....feels like a post-colonial effect….and what’s with the feathers on hats, horse whips etc? Perhaps madam is right after all? Yes, let’s ban all forms of traditional wear.

P.S: I task everybody to stop tasking everybody. Haba! What is it? Task, task and more task! Instead of “tasking”, can somebody actually start doing something? That is the problem with this country; nobody wants to do the job, much better to “task”. I appeal especially to governors to remove this English word from their speeches. It has become tiresome, stop “tasking” the citizens of your state and start working. In fact, I propose we ban the word “task” thank you.

waffywaffarian@yahoo.com