1)There is light 24 hours in the day. Not “half current” oh, full current. Capable of carrying all appliances without destroying anything.
2)All pot holes are miraculously filled overnight. The Lagos/Benin expressway becomes a joy to behold. No craters, no pot holes and no accidents. The whole journey takes only four hours. Halleluja!
3)Midnight crusades and night church is abolished. No more noise making in the middle of the night. We can now all sleep in peace and the Lagos /Ibadan expressway is finally cleared. Amen.
4)People become disciplined, learn how to queue up and stop hustling like mad people when using public transportation.
5)All okadas now have their own lanes and their passengers now wear helmets.
6)All the mobile networks now work efficiently and you can call anybody at anytime, anywhere without getting high blood pressure.
7)In the spirit of Christmas, all armed robbers decide to take a holiday and learn how to swim, dance the salsa and play Badminton. All within the premises of Aso Rock.
8)All TV stations now show great films throughout the holiday and not only Jesus of Nazareth, Part 1-3. (NTA, please, stop using archaic graphics. Somebody please send them the memo. We are in 2008!)
9)The area boys of Lagos are having their annual Christmas conference and therefore, will be away the whole season. Praise God!
10)The Police men at the sides of the road have all become born again Christians and instead of asking for “something”, they now ask “have you received Christ into your life”?
11)The chicken sizes in Sizzlers are well proportioned (Is it me, or do they reduce the sizes of those chickens every other day?)
12)We all get a gift from the government thanking us for still being citizens of this country.
Merry Christmas to all my readers!
P.S: If una wan invite me for Christmas chicken, make una no shame, just send my invitation to firstname.lastname@example.org