Letter to the president of Nigeria

Dear Sir,

I hope this letter comes to you in good health, if so, praise be to Allah. I am so sorry for disturbing you as I know you must be so busy working hard for our dear country Nigeria. However, I must bring your attention to a very solemn matter. It has come to my attention that the chairman of the NDDC, Sam Edem, is seriously ill and at this very moment, unable to perform the duties he has been elected to do. He has admitted being under the spell of one Perekabowei Ogah aka Mathew Sonoma, a juju priest (soothsayer, babalawo, marabou, wizard, etc). According to the honorable chairman, he was “hypnotized” and during this “hypnosis”, the juju man did “yahooze” on him and managed to swindle him of 800 million naira. Now, whilst the juju man has denied these allegations, claiming that the chairman had hired him for all sorts of criminal intentions, including murder, that is not my paramount concern. My concern is making sure the NDDC is functioning as it should be. I believe at the moment, this is not so. Below are my reasons:

How can anybody do his job under “hypnosis”? I have never been hypnotized before but I am sure any psychologist would confirm that such a state is not the perfect condition for anybody to be working under. Especially not somebody in charge of such an important commission.

He has already given 800 million naira of the NDDC’S money away (I am assuming this money is from the NDDC as it is impossible to believe that anybody in Nigeria has such a fantastic amount of money at his disposal).

The chairman himself has admitted to being “drained” financially, psychologically and emotionally. Pray, tell me, how is this poor man supposed to carry out his duties?

The chairman has recently been “delivered” from satanic hands. I am sure the poor man needs his rest. If he has been under such a draining spell, then I am sure the exorcism of all the demons in his body must have left him weak.

He must need time to reconcile himself with our heavenly father and hopefully be washed with the Holy Spirit. All this takes an incredible amount of energy, one which our chairman does not have at the moment since he has been so “drained”.

I hope our dear president can understand this delicate situation and hopefully, relieve the chairman of his burden. It is obvious that his present condition is very grave. Leaving the commission in the hands of Sam Edem is not only dangerous, but very careless indeed.

Yours sincerely,
Waffy Waffarian.

P.S: Here’s wishing the chairman a speedy recovery!