Sunday, August 10, 2008

Resource control hat

Man to man is so unjust, children
You don't know who to trust
Your worst enemy could be your best friend
And your best friend your worst enemy…..
And who the cap fit…let them wear it…
Hypocrites and parasites
Will come up and take a bite
And if your night should turn to day
A lot of people would run away
And who the cap fit….let them wear it…
-Bob Marley

If there is anybody that is tired of hearing about Niger-Delta in the news every day, please put your hands up! Is there anybody in this country that is not yet sick and fed up with this topic? I mean, I don’t understand why we choose to suffer in this country. I swear I am going to puke the next time I hear “Niger-Delta”. I am so tired of that topic, but even more exhausting, is the topic of resource control. What exactly does that mean? Every time I hear it in the news I begin to think of some “kryptonite like” matter found in space, a really mysterious kind of material that has to be taken care of with great care lest we all turn into aliens. However, correct me if I am wrong, but it’s all about MONEY right? That’s what we are discussing in these meetings and summits? Who gets to spend the MONEY? That’s the mysterious “resource” we are all falling over ourselves to share and divide.

Now that we have made that clear, ie, resource control basically means “how to share the loot”, let’s try and define the next problem at hand. Now, is it only me, or have you all noticed that anytime we talk about “resource control”, everybody on TV is wearing a bowler hat? I am serious, next time you watch TV, count the number of bowler hats (remnants of our colonial past) you see. I have been thinking about this phenomenon, in fact, I have come to the conclusion that there must be something magical about that hat. Perhaps in order to talk about “resource control”, one has to wear it? Whatever the secret is, I must know, na by force. I am going to buy my own bowler hat and the next time there is talk of “resource control” on TV, maybe I will have a better understanding of what it is all about. Make una siddon dey look, meself, I go enter TV small time dey give my own yarns about resource control.

P.S: But if anybody there wan dash me e own hat, I no go shame to collect oh, austerity wan kill man pikin. Thanks in advance.


Jaycee said...

I feel u...

It's worse when u're from Delta State.

NigerianDramaQueen said...

You are a piece of work!
First of all, my hands are up-both of em. The Niger Delta tory don dey tire me sef.
Bowler hats?LOLLLLLL
Again, you are a piece of work!
You never fail to make me laugh

Patrice said...

Yes, there must be something about the bowler hat. Seems the biggest bank here could not resist its mysterious financial power. The bowler hat must impart knowledge about making money that, say, a baseball cap, beanie, or dunce cap can not. I think a fez might work just as well.