Sunday, August 3, 2008

Overnight farmers

Every day is a blessing in this country, even crossing the street is a mission on its own. By the way, before I launch into my anguish of the week, I‘d like to bind and cast all the demons of electricity in this country. I am sure you will all join in this casting session as many people have lost so much in this country due to “no light” (I just lost an eye….but that is a story for another day). This “no light” business is causing havoc in the lives of ordinary people, but not to worry, I am sure the Chinese will soon deliver enough cheap generators for every man to be able to afford one. God bless them.

Anyway, this article is not about me and my “missing eye” situation, this article is about Nigeria and its perpetual state of outrageous affairs. Recently, the government decided to help us out with the problem of food scarcity. They decided to distribute grains (please take note that these grains are for planting) to local farmers and help solve this alarming problem. Now, some big men in this country also collected tons of grains. Now, except I am totally stupid, I have never seen an agbada wearing man plant a seed. I am sure we all remember that ridiculous picture of our former president trying to plant a tree while his agbada was being held by more than three people. That is not a sight one forgets so easily. I still have nightmares from that picture.

Anyway, my point is, unless these big men, have become farmers overnight, then there is no need for anybody to be hoarding tons of grains in their backyards or garages. Now, as usual, we shall hear all sorts of explanations, all sorts of reasons. I would personally love to hear the reasons, for pure comedy purposes of course. One never tires of the illogical stories we hear in this country. However, the one and only question that should be asked is: “Are you a farmer?”

By the way, there is nothing wrong if these big men have decided to become farmers. In fact, the exercise would do them good. All that sitting around in board meetings eating club sandwich can’t be good for the heart. However, if you are not yet a farmer and you have no wishes to trade your pen for a hoe, then I suggest that these grains should be given to the people that know how to bend their backs in the sun.
Una do well.

P.S: Dem don begin dey kidnap people for our side again oh! Ehen, and I don remind una again say Olympics dey around the corner…if una like, make una disgrace us for opening ceremony with nonsense cloth…I go close eye, wait make una pass!

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