Memo to whoever is the minister of foreign affairs in this country: Do your job!

NOTE: ANOTHER VERSION OF THIS PIECE WAS PUBLISHED

Dear Sir
It has come to my notice that you are seriously needed by your fellow countrymen. Nigerians all over the world continue to be treated as second class citizens by organizations and companies abroad. Recently, 136 Nigerian passengers were ordered off a British airways flight bound for Lagos because they protested against the way deportees were being treated on the flight. Is it now a crime in the world to show empathy for a fellow human being? Is it now a crime to request that people should be treated with dignity and respect?

It seems carrying a Nigerian passport has an invisible logo underneath it that says “treat me as you please, nobody cares!” There is no country in the world that would accept such treatment of their citizens under any circumstances. It is wrong and I believe it is your job to write a letter of protest to the government concerned or whatever protocol it is that you are supposed to follow. You must know better than I do, it is your job. I am tired of Nigerians being treated like dirt because we do not dare to stand up for our rights.

You are being paid. Do your job.

Regards
Waffy Waffarian

Memo to the commissioner of health, Anambra state: We are now in 2008!

Dear Sir,
I recently heard that for some reason, you have not been informed about the year we are currently living in. It seems you have been misinformed and misled by the people around you. It is not your fault; I know for sure that you must have been living in another planet all these years. That must be the only reason why you are unaware of the disease called A.I.DS. This disease is a threat to the human race and a cure is yet to be found. Did I hear you gasp? Yes Sir, unfortunately, we humans have been living with that monster for decades now. I know you have no idea about it, if you did; you certainly would not make the kind of outrageous statements that you made recently in your state. There was some talk about banning condoms and contraceptives….is this true?

A.I.DS.is a sexually transmitted disease…… terrible isn’t yet? I am sure you are beginning to realize the kind of dilemma this is. As I said earlier, you must have been misinformed by the incompetent people around you. I guess they did not give you all these facts? Well, not to worry, I am sure you can still do something about it. However, reading your opinions on condoms and contraceptives, it has occurred to me that you are in the wrong line of business. I believe you should be a pastor or evangelist, not a health commissioner. Please do not be afraid to follow your calling in life, there is nothing to be ashamed of. I wish you God’s speed.
Oh, I forgot, the real reason for this letter was to inform you that we are in 2008. We no longer allow decisions made by ignorant people in this country, just in case you never got the memo.

Best Regards,
Waffy Waffarian

waffywaffarian@yahoo.com