My people! If I tell una say I never sleep for the past one week, una no go believe me! Abeg, make una ask me why now, ehen, thank you. I go tell una. My people, na all these church people dem no dey allow person close eye for night. Na so oh, as evening just nak, dem go begin. Left oh, right oh, in front oh, behind oh, from all corners, dem go begin dey shout, dey disturb the whole neighborhood anyhow. Shuo! Na only una dey Warri? Special notice to all of una wey dey P.T.I road, Effurun. I swear, una go soon see my medical bill for una mail box. Hiss!
Now, it is not a problem if people decide to worship and sing praises to the Lord. It is a good thing, a very good thing. However, if you have decided to spend your night at church singing at the top of your voice, that is your prerogative, not mine nor the hundreds of people around in the neighborhood that have decided to spend their own nights on their beds sleeping. Honestly! Do we not have a law against public disturbance? I mean, a lot of people are hardworking people that have spent their hours working all day and all they need is a good night’s rest. For example, a doctor that has spent his whole day on his feet would need his sleep at night in order to perform a life saving operation the next day. Tomorrow na, if the poor man leave scissors for person belle una go begin dey make noise, but una don forget say una no allow am rest for night oh! How im wan take do im job properly ehn? Or another example, a long distance lorry driver falls asleep on the road, causing a major accident, wetin una go talk? Una go begin blame all the blood sucking demons for road, meanwhile, una don forget say na una no allow the man close eye for night!
Furthermore, it is not the fact that these churches have chosen to “broadcast” their prayers and praise singing through megaphones and horn speakers, that is the matter. It is the logic of the whole thing that is particularly disturbing. Now, I have always assumed that perhaps there was a crowd outside the churches that needed to follow the worship or whatever else was going on inside the church. Imagine my amazement to discover that there was nobody outside these churches at all! In some of them, there were only a handful of people inside the church and yet they had decided to broadcast their worship outside! For who? None of the church members were there, and there was no gathering outside for them to even assume that anybody else was interested in their worship proceedings. I am sure if anybody wanted to take part, they would have been there. Now, please, somebody, explain to me, where is the logic? How would people feel if I decide to blast reggae through megaphones through out the night, every night? After all, Rastafari is a religion too. I appeal to all the churches in Warri, to please remove those terrible megaphones and horn speakers hanging from the corners of their churches and let us sleep. Na God we dey take beg una.
Meanwhile, the thing wey dem dey blast for us self no get head or tail! Pastor go dey do im own incantations for there, some people go dey sing their own dey go, plus the music wey dem go dey play na another thing entirely! Haba! The thing reach to destroy ear drum, and then imagine the noise of all those generators on top. Na die be dat na!
P S: Una take style see that AMAA awards? Chei! Laugh wan kill me! Una see the stage? The thing be like say dey import am from one cheap Karaoke bar from Thailand! And na so everything just jaga jaga anyhow. Abeg, the people wey organize am, una no try at all oh! Chei! Shame catch me, I hope say all our African neighbours no watch that thing oh!